Did Aspen Real Estate jump the shark?

 you make the call (I am no good at picking tops)

Middle school principal quits job---becomes real estate agent

Young local accountant tries to rent friends basement--aware there is no natural light or shower or kitchen says 'ill take anything '

GC is busting his butt to deliver neighbor's house on time (delivery date two days ago)---got busted last week for turning street into parking lot--37 trucks for 1 job site.  Fined GC and drivers---no one cares making too much money.  Also failed to deliver on time----still not heat for the family for x-mas---how very Aspen Dickens.

TDR's (transfer development rights) ---the right to build an extra 250 square feet above code (per TDR) trades at $1.8m up from aprox $200k for the past 5 years.  (ie about a 900% jump in about a year).

Every local I know who is not in real estate is talking (yes talk is cheap) about moving.

Poll in the local paper about how difficult is it to get a table for dinner lately---not sure I will never be able to afford to eat out in Aspen again leads results with 60% of the vote (there are 5 different options).

A bit of land that I looked at buying 6 years ago for $4m sells for $20m (and sold 5 months ago for 15m).

Another local hunt (SU Casa ) will be gone---Mark Hunt adding it to his portfolio of land banked (ie vacant) properties.

The city council is trying to reduce prices by stopping development and short term rentals.  Maybe I missed something in econ class but reducing supply is an interesting way to lower prices---might I suggest eliminating all rules regarding development to both increase supply and reduce demand by making Aspen a less awesome place (more traffic, less views, more Texans).

merry x-mas.

PS its raining.

naked teen hockey players (and another vent about getting screwed with my rental)

 i figured naked would get your attention so I put that in the title as click bait.

Seems our fearless board of health has decided the best way to keep COVID to a minimum is to have hockey players (both boys-men, girls-woman) change outside the locker room so that they don't have to share a confined space while wearing a mask at all times---my daughter was kind enough to inform me that doing suicides at the end of an hour of dryland and an hour skate with a mask on the whole time is ----suicidal.  My son helpfully pointed out that clearly the board of health hasn't been in the high school lunch room where kids are packed tight without masks (or to a restaurant).

Still the end result is naked hockey players changing in the rink.  Safe Sport is having a fit.

We went under contract on a bit of land to build a home.  Then during disclosure the developer provided the soils report that called out the risk of a sink hole in our building envelope. The developer offered to lean on the soils guy to re-write the report (does that make a sink hole magically go away?) While my most excellent insurance guy informed me that he couldn't insure against a sink hole.  We walked (ran) happily away from that property.

Our current rental ($20k a month up from a similar location-home when we moved her six years ago of $7.5k a month) continues to have issues.  Some of which are:

1.  water soaked hot tub cover making hot tub largely unusable (since before we moved in).

2.  poor heat in master bedroom that was called out in May but supposed to be offset by fireplace which doesn't work

3.  Washing machines were replaced and work but we are at close to 20 days of workers here and it ain't done yet (patching walls, painting, electrical sockets etc (lets not forget 3 weeks without a working washing machine)

4.  Windows that don't open (in my son's room--I mean if you are gonna hot box your room you dang well want to be able to open the windows)

5.  bathrooms without door hardware

6.  elevator not working (told in May would be working when we moved in)

7.  bald face lie from broker re rodents---I asked if there is a rodent problem, and the agent said 'no' uh except for the 14 that were killed in May which we found out from Orkin after we moved in

So we asked for compensation--seems to us that if you can't open the windows, close the bathroom door, wash your clothes, use the hot tub etc you shouldn't be asked to pay full rent that is supposed to include those things in the contract.

The owner feels otherwise.  He thinks that since we got such a discount (we paid his listed rental price) that we are not entitled to a refund.  I have no clue what to do---go to court?  Seems like I will pay lots of money in legal fees to get a little money back from the owner.   

Bottom line---do not rent in Aspen-Snowmass Village.  Ever single owner has fucked us.  Every fucking one.  And the real estate agencies that are making a fortune couldn't give a shit from what I can tell.  Rental contracts are best used as toilet paper.  For a small town Aspen sure is full of a bunch of assholes.  

PS While I am ranting---I just got a notification of COVID-19 exposure for one of my kids (which one-they won't say to protect the privacy of the person with COVID).  Who the person is with COVID so we can evaluate the risk--did they just pass each other in the halls or did they spend the night sharing a joint?  If this is Pitkin contact tracing why bother?  Thank goodness the naked hockey girls are all wearing masks.

fun stuff

 started a biz making and selling awesome ski racks---why stick your skis on top of your car when you can use a hitch mount---if it is good enough for your bikes why not your skis?

Gravirax

That has me pretty busy ergo fewer posts.

But some other fun facts ---Pitkin has an unofficial policy for covid--we are aiming for herd immunity.  Pretty much everyone has it but life continues as normal except for the sick folks.  Wonder what the end of shoulder season and prime x-mas-new years will bring.

We got no snow---well you can top to bottom on Aspen but that is about it, which ain't too bad if you are a local and looking to get a couple of laps in on a sunny 50 degree day but kinda sucks if you travel here and are paying a bunch of money.  Silver lining is Ski Co doesn't need a lot of employees to manage a couple of 100 acres of skiable terrain so the employee shortage don't matter.

Daughter's hockey is in full swing--one of her teammates was ejected from a game and has to sit out an additional game because VAIL sucks :)  

Also they now have to wear masks all the time---last night post practice all I heard about was how doing suicides in a mask sucks.  I told her back in my day...........---ok it does suck.

And her team now has to change in the open because COVID is really bad in locker rooms I guess (has anyone from the  heath board looked at the high school lunchroom?).   Meanwhile SafeSport is having a fit.

We went under contract on a bit of land near Wilts and then in disclosure found that a soils report indicated a chance of a sink hole in our building envelope.  Called my insurance guy who said 'never heard of that in CO and after looking into it we can't insure against a sink hole'.  We are back to the drawing board and I guess the top in real estate isn't in yet cause that can only happen after we buy something.

Lastly and surely least our Congressional Rep Lauren Bobert continues to be ummmm special.  Kinda wish a special school bus could take her away to a special place for people who serve tainted meat at the state fair, endanger their kids in their car, ignore health regulations at their restaurant, and wear a gun everywhere cause they are a scared little bi@ch.  Good news is it seems with her GED level education she hasn't figured out what Congress does nor how to actually do anything (good or ill) for her community outside of saying nasty things.  Would someone from the real world in the GOP please primary her?

Anyone want a rack?  

don't compost because no good deed goes unpunished

We get our compost collected every Wednesday AM.  Today my son and daughter went into the garage, opened the door got ready to leave and then closed the garage and returned to the house.  Why?  Da Bears.

The white can the yearling is playing with is our compost.  My son didn't want to drive between the mother and her baby bear so we waited and took some video.  As a result my kids were late to school.  

late to school=tardy

too many tardies =report on academic record

negative report on record=poorer college options

Bottom line composting means my kids colleges options are negatively impacted.  So while composting might be good for the Earth it isn't good for my kids chances of success.  Think big picture?  Or family first?  Aint that always the question.

Dang that cub is cute.  

digital billboards

In Snowmass Village you are greeted  with a billboard telling you to keep you dogs on leash because of multiple dog-coyote interactions.  Interactions is a nice way to say coyotes eating your dog.  In the past week there have been 4 'incidents' in Snowmass Village.  Sadly my dogs don't know how to read the billboard and are not pleased with being on lead all the time.  There does seem to be more human-wildlife interaction every year.

Heading into Aspen the first digital billboard you see at the town line tells you that you must wear a mask indoors. The second one you see at the end of the S curve tells you that you must lock your garbage or face a fine.

Think about that.  If you don't lock your garbage you will be warned and then fined.  If you don't wear a mask you might or might not be warned but for sure you will not be fined.  Does Aspen put more weight on the lives of bears than humans?  

That got me thinking about what would happen if I shot a bear that broke into my house vs shooting a human doing the same.  I asked a couple of friends in law enforcement and while they wouldn't go on record nor say they had really studied the issue their first thoughts where that  you could be in more legal jeopardy from killing a bear than a human.

Lastly, for all you visitors it looks like Aspen is going to try to deliver a very 'normal' ski experience this winter.  For instance the BOH has indicated they will not reduce restaurant capacity until the hospital suspends elective procedures.  Yes you got that right, you can spay champagne to your heart's content (or your wallet's limit) at Cloud 9 until the hospital is in such dire straits that they can't function normally.  And the BOH has indicated they won't shut restaurants until after the hospital is in crisis mode triaging patients and rationing care.

Is it at all possible that we have got our priorities mixed up?  I believe there is a Chinese curse 'may you live in interesting times'.  Yes indeed.   

PS ---Pitkin county has been in the COVID RED ZONE for the past three weeks of our off season.

FUCK Texas

Aggressive title.  But it got your attention, so fuck yea.

Check out this lovely Texas native's parking job.

If you can't tell what you are looking at that is an Audi Q5 rockin Texas plates (plate GWS 9797 if you really care).  They did a great job parallel parking in downtown Aspen.  They got their tires straight--and left plenty of space between the trees---wait trees.  Yea they parked on the sidewalk.  And why not?  There was space so why not park where you want.  Sure there is a parking garage around the corner but that costs money.  Yea you could drive into the east end and circle for a bit and find something because its off season, but that is a pain and I am from Fucking Texas so I am gonna park right fucking here and own you libs.

If you wonder why some Aspen locals are getting frustrated with some of our part time citizens this picture sums it up, they got the Aspen sticker and the Texas plates and they act like they own the place.  

In a similar vein my son almost killed someone on Highline road (Snowmass) yesterday.  He was driving up the road (yes 5 mph over the speed limit) and an oncoming car was flashing their lights at him.  He slowed down, assuming around the curve there was a deer or a cop.  Nope, it was two visitors standing in the middle of the road taking pictures.  He slammed on the breaks and avoided contact, but if the other car hadn't warned him it could have been very ugly.  Why do tourists think this is some kind of bizzaro lifestyles of the rich and famous Disneyland.  If you wouldn't stop in the middle of the street in your hometown to take a picture don't do it here.  Do you park on the sidewalk in Texas?

Now to get political---do you know what society is with no laws?  It's called anarchy.  Laws infringe on your personal liberty (whether to take a picture in the middle of the road, park on a sidewalk, get vaccinated, or carry a gun).  As an employer or employee do you really want to have a workplace full of unvaccinated people?  Do you really want no limits on firearms---just think of 7 year olds with AR-15s and handguns.  Or to move to a less loaded topic how about a world with no driving rules (speed limits, stop signs all those things that infringe on your right to GO).  Who wants to live in a world with no driving laws?  Thought so, now shut up and go get your COVID jab.

On a slightly different topic some friends of mine made a mistake and went out to dinner with a couple from out of town.  A bottle of wine, 2 apps, 3 mains and a couple of orders of veg and they walked out $800 bucks lighter.  They won't be going out to dinner again any time soon.

$800 dinner menue

OMG I won Powerball

 Actually I didn't.  

I was at Citymarket in Aspen and after finding the shelves bare of seltzer I looked up while checking out and noticed the current powerball jackpot was $20 Million.  That got me thinking---if I won powerball what kind of home could I buy in Aspen?

Answer is not much.

I figured I would take the lump sum, pay the taxes and take my powerball winnings to Aspen Sotheby's and buy myself an excellent Aspen mansion.  Except after the lump sum discount and taxes my payout is 'only' $8.8 million.  The 'average' home sales price in Aspen for September was $12.2m and price per square foot was $2k.  So yea you could buy a meh 4k square foot home with your powerball winnings.  Or you could keep $1m for some improvements and taxes etc and buy this gem for $7.75m.

powerball winnings home

Anyone besides me wondering if Aspen homes might look a bit like tulip bulbs.