sports----is it possible to have a healthy relationship with kids sports these days?
I don't know.
Things I do know:
1. there are a ton of cool sports kids can do with high level coaches and serious competition. Back in my day it was dad's coaching kids, we played in jeans, and most of the competition was a bike ride away.
2. back in the day the cost was next to nothing. Maybe $25 to play baseball including the tee shirt. No travel fees. No coaches gift. No tournament fees. Sometimes parents watched games but usually not and we usually rode our bikes to practices and games. And yes a couple of the guys I played with and against went on to play AAA pro ball having pitched for some big 8 (dating myself) college powerhouses.
3. Fast forward to today where parents seem to be at many of the practices, spend a ton of money and time and the odds of your kid getting a scholarship or playing pro have gone way down. But worst of all agro sports parents have exploded. But don't blame the parents---it's really the system that has evolved slowly but surely to a horrible horrible place.
Why am I thinking sport as the holidays arrive? My son is a kinda a high end sailor. 'Kinda' what does that mean? Well he races in a lot of the top level regattas, one of which he is heading to today in Miami. He will be racing against 85 other boats from as far away as Ireland, and as close as Miami. Most of the kids he is competing against live within 30 miles of the water. They race 8-12 months out of the year. They have often been racing with the same partner for years (although some switch teammates faster than employees turnover in the White House.--always searching for something better). Some kids use crap hulls and the same sails for a year or two (mine for example). Other kids get 3-6 new hulls a year and new sails for each race. While equipment isn't everything, for high level racing a new sail and a super fast bottom can make a HUGE difference. Figure a new boat and sails at 10k per, while new sails maybe 1k. Then there are the travel costs (10 nights of hotel room for this race, airfare and car rental). For OB figure $5k for travel. Then cost of boat and coaches and clinic fees and race fees. Call that 1.5k. So if we buy the boy new sails for the season and I want to amortize that over 5 races let's say the cost of him racing in the Orange Bowl is close to $7k.
One race.
Then midwinters in Florida which is much shorter (4-5 days) figure that is $3.5k and then the summer of racing is maybe another $8k and the total is about $19k for him to race for a season. Multiply that by 4 years and we are close to $80k for his high school sailing experience. OMG. And I am a cheap parent not buying new boats, not buying lots of new sails, not buying much in the way of equipment and assuming no major issues. $80k. WTF. And then you wonder why parents get agitated when their kid acts like a kid and not a professional and gets silly. Or doesn't fight for his exposure, coaching, position on the line etc. It's a big investment to make without getting emotionally drawn in. And not only are we cheap in terms of what we buy him, we are not making a big time investment, because we are so far away from the water we can't, don't, helicopter him or the coaches. There are parents who homeschool their kids and travel the circuit to give their kids the best opportunity to succeed. If you think I can get frustrated with my kid or his coaches, just think about the parent who has tailored their life around their kids sport. Healthy? Not a chance.
I don't have a good solution to all of this. I do believe being aware of the issue and aware of the trap you can get sucked into is a good first step towards remembering its just kids sports. The goal should be having fun, getting exercise, learning how to work as a team, having a healthy view towards competition (winning is good but it's hardly everything, and not everyone can win).
That said I would really like to see the boy finish in the top half. And then turn some college coaches heads and have some good meetings at college night (with Yale and Harvard and Stanford and MIT and Brown), and maybe given that he is doing that well while living in CO and only sailing 3 months out of the year maybe then...............oh fuck there I go again.
Have fun, sail strong and maybe meet a cute girl.
and if you want to get a feel for what a race looks like this is a pretty good vid of nationals from last summer
c420 nationals Waino
Thursday, December 20, 2018
Wednesday, December 19, 2018
confessions of a parent
I can't judge a debate. No fucking way. I thought I could. I said I would. And then I saw what was involved and I ran away.
Taking a step back. My son is taking debate class and going to some debate contests (meets, games, competitions I don't even know what they are called). Kinda like with my son's sailing it's pretty great cause I have no clue about debating (or sailing). So I don't yell at the judges, kids, coaches etc. I got no clue. Very health.
But they needed some judges at the most recent debate in Avon so I said sure if no skill is necessary. The coach said yea anyone can do it and thank you. I would suggest he misrepresented what was necessary. I would be a single judge responsible for:
1. timing (including opening speeches, rebuttals and closing speeches along with giving each debater 15 and 30 second countdown warnings)
2. judging content
3. judging application of debate rules (what rules---I don't fucking know the rules)
4. Providing written notes and comments regarding presentation and adherence to rules
5. ording teams and submitting results
For 30 debates.
OMG I said no way. I also think it kinda sucks for these kids to work really hard (I think my son does more work for debate than he does for Aeronautics, Advanced Geometry, English, History and Biology combined) and then be judged by a clueless parent.
Other interesting observations:
1. my son cares about his grades. And this sure didn't come from anything his parents did or did not do. And he didn't use to care at all---he used to skip school in Chicago to go to 7/11. He gets full credit for this pleasant metamorphosis, while I scratch my head and wonder where this came from.
2. Both my wife and I went to hyper-competitive high schools. AHS not so much. In my son's history class the teacher offered to give extra credit to any and all students who went to listen to a 4 star general and Fox commentator speak about the US-Syrian policy, and wrote up their observations. My son went because he was interested in the subject matter and very interested in the extra credit. A girl went who was interested in my son. And that was it---the other 73 kids who are taking that class took a pass. At Choate or Burroughs 90% of the class would have attended ---here is less than 5%. It's kinda nice that every 9th grade kid isn't worrying about college admission, but who is my son going to talk to about Assad?
3. My son has worn shorts to school every day this year. Guess that really isn't that unusual.
Taking a step back. My son is taking debate class and going to some debate contests (meets, games, competitions I don't even know what they are called). Kinda like with my son's sailing it's pretty great cause I have no clue about debating (or sailing). So I don't yell at the judges, kids, coaches etc. I got no clue. Very health.
But they needed some judges at the most recent debate in Avon so I said sure if no skill is necessary. The coach said yea anyone can do it and thank you. I would suggest he misrepresented what was necessary. I would be a single judge responsible for:
1. timing (including opening speeches, rebuttals and closing speeches along with giving each debater 15 and 30 second countdown warnings)
2. judging content
3. judging application of debate rules (what rules---I don't fucking know the rules)
4. Providing written notes and comments regarding presentation and adherence to rules
5. ording teams and submitting results
For 30 debates.
OMG I said no way. I also think it kinda sucks for these kids to work really hard (I think my son does more work for debate than he does for Aeronautics, Advanced Geometry, English, History and Biology combined) and then be judged by a clueless parent.
Other interesting observations:
1. my son cares about his grades. And this sure didn't come from anything his parents did or did not do. And he didn't use to care at all---he used to skip school in Chicago to go to 7/11. He gets full credit for this pleasant metamorphosis, while I scratch my head and wonder where this came from.
2. Both my wife and I went to hyper-competitive high schools. AHS not so much. In my son's history class the teacher offered to give extra credit to any and all students who went to listen to a 4 star general and Fox commentator speak about the US-Syrian policy, and wrote up their observations. My son went because he was interested in the subject matter and very interested in the extra credit. A girl went who was interested in my son. And that was it---the other 73 kids who are taking that class took a pass. At Choate or Burroughs 90% of the class would have attended ---here is less than 5%. It's kinda nice that every 9th grade kid isn't worrying about college admission, but who is my son going to talk to about Assad?
3. My son has worn shorts to school every day this year. Guess that really isn't that unusual.
Sunday, December 16, 2018
warning .....I am going political
and not local political although on the local front it does seem that ASD (aspen school district's) head of HR has been terminated (or is on paid leave pending resolving her suit for unlawful termination). Just a reminder this is the head of HR who pleaded guilty to crimes related to her last job and had zero relevant experience (making the typical leap from family law practice and criminal to head of HR for a district school).
Also the superintendent's employment contract was not renewed. A win for common sense.
Now to Trump.
But first a word from my son's debate class--one of the subjects he is debating is 'should all US mail be inspected for weapons?' My son's research showed that in the past 20 years there have been 5 deaths due to mail born weapons (those would be anthrax in 2001). Compare that to 48k deaths from opiate overdoses or 14.5k deaths from firearm homicides last year. Spending money on making mail safe (or safer) is a cure in search of a problem. And yes there were some bombs sent recently and over the past 20 years but most of those were ineffective and or stopped. Our current systems are working pretty well keeping us safe from the mail.
Which brings us to Trump and his big beautiful wall. Believe it or not ISIS is not bringing across thousands of trained terrorists and weapons through the southern border. If there were, we would be seeing those terrorists on FOX news 24/7. Much like the mail system, our current immigration system has done a very good job of keeping terrorists, gang members, and bad actors out. Its not perfect, yes a few bad actors slip through. Yes drugs slip through. But the drug problem isn't coke from Colombia, its oxy from US pharma. If ISIS or gang members do slip through, they don't need to worry about bringing weapons with them, they can find all the weapons they need on the US side of the border. Trump wants $5 billion to start building the wall or he will shut down the government. Figure maybe $15-20 billion to build the wall in total, another $2-3 to man and maintain the wall per year. And while millions seem like rounding numbers lets not forget the $200 million or so to send the Army to the border as an election stunt. All this spending from the party that solves every problem by cutting taxes, and then bitches about the deficit.
To my GOP friends:
1. You support a party that wanted an unfunded procyclical tax cut that is blowing up the deficit (and then you are surprised that interest rates go up)
2. Your party is anti free trade
3. You support a president whose foreign policy is to play kissy face with Russia and N Korea and MBS
4. You seem to accept that the president is above the law
What has happened to the GOP?
tomorrow I promise no politics
Also the superintendent's employment contract was not renewed. A win for common sense.
Now to Trump.
But first a word from my son's debate class--one of the subjects he is debating is 'should all US mail be inspected for weapons?' My son's research showed that in the past 20 years there have been 5 deaths due to mail born weapons (those would be anthrax in 2001). Compare that to 48k deaths from opiate overdoses or 14.5k deaths from firearm homicides last year. Spending money on making mail safe (or safer) is a cure in search of a problem. And yes there were some bombs sent recently and over the past 20 years but most of those were ineffective and or stopped. Our current systems are working pretty well keeping us safe from the mail.
Which brings us to Trump and his big beautiful wall. Believe it or not ISIS is not bringing across thousands of trained terrorists and weapons through the southern border. If there were, we would be seeing those terrorists on FOX news 24/7. Much like the mail system, our current immigration system has done a very good job of keeping terrorists, gang members, and bad actors out. Its not perfect, yes a few bad actors slip through. Yes drugs slip through. But the drug problem isn't coke from Colombia, its oxy from US pharma. If ISIS or gang members do slip through, they don't need to worry about bringing weapons with them, they can find all the weapons they need on the US side of the border. Trump wants $5 billion to start building the wall or he will shut down the government. Figure maybe $15-20 billion to build the wall in total, another $2-3 to man and maintain the wall per year. And while millions seem like rounding numbers lets not forget the $200 million or so to send the Army to the border as an election stunt. All this spending from the party that solves every problem by cutting taxes, and then bitches about the deficit.
To my GOP friends:
1. You support a party that wanted an unfunded procyclical tax cut that is blowing up the deficit (and then you are surprised that interest rates go up)
2. Your party is anti free trade
3. You support a president whose foreign policy is to play kissy face with Russia and N Korea and MBS
4. You seem to accept that the president is above the law
What has happened to the GOP?
tomorrow I promise no politics
Friday, December 7, 2018
what would my 18 year old self say to my 51 year old self
Punch line---I called the cops on the party next door.
Last Saturday night my son and I came home around 10:30. As we got close to the house I saw cars parked all along the street. Lots and lots of cars. More than I have ever seen my in hood. I figured someone was having a party. Turns out the someone was the kid in the duplex we share a wall with. It was kinda loud, but not tooo loud in our bedroom (my son's walls were shaking pretty good though). And the party was just winding up--kids were coming in, not leaving and some smart high schoolers were taking a cab to avoid the drunk driving issue (or they weren't old enough to drive).
After a quick chat with the wife, I decided to call in the law. I didn't really want to bang on the door and ask them to keep it down and please not damage my property. Shoot, in this day and age I didn't want to risk getting shot for going up to someone's door (ok I wasn't really worried about that). Then things got all 21st century.
Prior to making the call I asked my son what he thought--he went on his phone and was able to quickly figure out who might be there (for AHS who read this blog he didn't reveal any names), and he indicated that many of the party goers were serious partiers. Ok, so it's not the board game club (yes the school has a board game club) having a parent supervised gathering (son laughing hard in background).
About 2 minutes after I called in the heat the kids started fleeing the scene. Way before the police arrived. I asked my son what he thought happened and he suggested kids coming to the party saw the police heading their way and texted a warning.
Within 5-10 minutes they were all gone (quietly I might add which was a pleasant surprise).
The next day the kids mom is banging on our door. She tears my wife a new one about calling the police on the party. Why didn't we call her first? Why did we call the cops at all. hummmmmm.
Why didn't we call her first---well if she is there and overseeing a party where kids are drinking and doing drugs, she doesn't seem like a great point of contact to correct the situation. If she isn't there (which she wasn't) I am not sure what she would have done.
Why call the cops---well as it turns out, some of the states I have lived in have this thing called social host laws which means that the parents (and other adults) can be held responsible for underage drinking that occurs on their property. Also if you know that underage drinking is going on and do nothing there is a chance that you can be held liable in these states. It turns out that Colorado is not a state with aggressive social host laws, but I really didn't want to do that research at 11 pm. I also didn't want to risk damage in their property flowing into my property.
So yea I called the fuzz. When I was 18 I was the one having the party (mom traveled a lot for work). Now I am the grumpy old guy calling the cops.
PS driving in St. Louis a little buzzed was never ok, but shoot we weren't driving on winding mountain roads in the snow. 5 Aspen High school kids were in this car---they are all ok ----holy shit safety technology has improved---back in the 80s I bet 3 out of 5 are dead. I kinda wished they had parked the wreck in front of the high school as a visceral reminder. Don't drive drunk. And it seems in this case they weren't they were just being stupid--95 mph on Maroon creek road....stupid.
Last Saturday night my son and I came home around 10:30. As we got close to the house I saw cars parked all along the street. Lots and lots of cars. More than I have ever seen my in hood. I figured someone was having a party. Turns out the someone was the kid in the duplex we share a wall with. It was kinda loud, but not tooo loud in our bedroom (my son's walls were shaking pretty good though). And the party was just winding up--kids were coming in, not leaving and some smart high schoolers were taking a cab to avoid the drunk driving issue (or they weren't old enough to drive).
After a quick chat with the wife, I decided to call in the law. I didn't really want to bang on the door and ask them to keep it down and please not damage my property. Shoot, in this day and age I didn't want to risk getting shot for going up to someone's door (ok I wasn't really worried about that). Then things got all 21st century.
Prior to making the call I asked my son what he thought--he went on his phone and was able to quickly figure out who might be there (for AHS who read this blog he didn't reveal any names), and he indicated that many of the party goers were serious partiers. Ok, so it's not the board game club (yes the school has a board game club) having a parent supervised gathering (son laughing hard in background).
About 2 minutes after I called in the heat the kids started fleeing the scene. Way before the police arrived. I asked my son what he thought happened and he suggested kids coming to the party saw the police heading their way and texted a warning.
Within 5-10 minutes they were all gone (quietly I might add which was a pleasant surprise).
The next day the kids mom is banging on our door. She tears my wife a new one about calling the police on the party. Why didn't we call her first? Why did we call the cops at all. hummmmmm.
Why didn't we call her first---well if she is there and overseeing a party where kids are drinking and doing drugs, she doesn't seem like a great point of contact to correct the situation. If she isn't there (which she wasn't) I am not sure what she would have done.
Why call the cops---well as it turns out, some of the states I have lived in have this thing called social host laws which means that the parents (and other adults) can be held responsible for underage drinking that occurs on their property. Also if you know that underage drinking is going on and do nothing there is a chance that you can be held liable in these states. It turns out that Colorado is not a state with aggressive social host laws, but I really didn't want to do that research at 11 pm. I also didn't want to risk damage in their property flowing into my property.
So yea I called the fuzz. When I was 18 I was the one having the party (mom traveled a lot for work). Now I am the grumpy old guy calling the cops.
PS driving in St. Louis a little buzzed was never ok, but shoot we weren't driving on winding mountain roads in the snow. 5 Aspen High school kids were in this car---they are all ok ----holy shit safety technology has improved---back in the 80s I bet 3 out of 5 are dead. I kinda wished they had parked the wreck in front of the high school as a visceral reminder. Don't drive drunk. And it seems in this case they weren't they were just being stupid--95 mph on Maroon creek road....stupid.
PPS my dog snuck into their party and did some very messy lines---bad dog
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