Neighbors

We all have them.  You share a wall, a ceiling, a fence, or a squiggly line written on a property deed.  Own or rent, someone is your neighbor.  Some neighbors are great, they bring your dog back and maybe even laugh about the food it ate off their kitchen counter.  They offer to split costs for repair.  They loan you sugar and the only music they play loudly is music you love and you wish they would turn it up even louder.  I have had many of those neighbors and I remember them happily.  Many continue to be great friends long after we stopped sharing a property line.

And then there are the other ones.

My wife and I lived in a loft in NYC with a wall of windows along one side.  Turns out if you looked at the 'right' angle you could use the building next to us to peer into the loft next to you.  We had a peeping tom in the loft next to us in NYC.  I would look out our window only to see him staring out his window at us.  I would usually just wave or make sure he got a nice view of my hairy butt.  That was usually good for a temporary halt to his peeping ways.

In Chicago we lived in a row house.  To the East we had great neighbors.  To the West we had a schizophrenic woman.  Not only was she legally crazy (she is currently safely locked up) but she refused to do any maintenance on her home and owned two of the loudest barky beagles EVER.  What does no maintenance look like you might ask---the mailman refused to deliver mail to her door because the front steps and deck were in such disrepair as to be a clear and present danger.  He just tossed the mail near her door.  She of course didn't ever collect her mail.  Yuck.

Which gets us to our present neighbor.  The ones that don't ever put their trash can in their garage no matter how many times the bears rip it open--nor do they clean up the trash the bear leaves about after their dumpster diving meal.  Does a bear breaking into their home encourage better trash management?  Nope.  The ones whose son broke into our place before we started renting it and drunk the owners booze.  And then have the balls to ask us for a key so they could use the exercise-game room in our home.  And the ones who came home drunk last night and left their car stranded on the road that leads to 4 homes (obviously mine included).

You might notice that there is no way to squeeze a car past their stranded car.  I was unable to drive a car from my home at 9:10 am.  First off I had to figure out whose car it was---stupid me I obviously should have gone right to the bad neighbor.  Anyhow after heading to 'that' neighbors house and knocking on the door I was greeted by our neighbor who looked like she was auditioning for a female reprise of 'The Hangover', she mentioned that is was her friends car, and it was stuck and they left it last night cause it was stuck (amature X-Gamers).  I told her she needed to get it moved and she allowed as to how she thought that was a good idea.  It took her hungover brain about 1 hour to figure out how to call a towing company--and viola 2 hours late I was able to use my car.  Yea.

I understand that shit happens.  I am less sympathetic when it happens to an adult who doesn't wake up until I bang on her door to remind her that she left a car blocking the road.  This is an adult, and a parent and my neighbor.  Arg.

Neighbors can be great.  But they can also be horrible.  And in today's world they can be super duper pain.  There are a number of duplexes for sale in Aspen with multi million dollar price tags.  Just think about buying a duplex for $5m only to find out that your neighbors rents his place out all the time and mostly to crazed internet sensations.  How much does it suck to find whatever today's version of MTV's Real World is being filmed next to you.... constantly.  Just as bad but less costly, I have had friends who find that their camp site is next to someone who loves loud music and shooting guns at all hours.  How peaceful is your car camping trip when the next site over is hosting the rejects from Duck Dynasty?  

Cherish your good neighbors, because you never know when the cast from the hangover + Duck Dynasty are going to move in.

DON"T SHOOT (or going postal)

First some background.  The postal service is in a bad way in Aspen-Snowmass.  Older workers are retiring and it's been very hard to hire new postal service workers.  Starting pay can be around $17 which in the roaring fork valley really isn't enough.  As workers retire, the existing works have more work to do and the service and experience just keeps getting worse.  They have been trying to make do with some temporary works and poorly trained new hires.  There are a number of days mail doesn't arrive at my home.  It wouldn't surprise me if USPS is at the beginning of the end.  But I digress.

The other day I was driving home and saw a USPS truck pulled over on the side of the road near the weird spur that leads to my house.  I stopped behind him for about a minute to wait to see if he was going to start moving to try to avoid an accident and give him time to do what he needed to do.  After waiting a while,  I pulled up next to the truck slowly and unrolled my window and asked "can I help you".

The postal service worker turned to me and said, "I am USPS, USPS I am a postal worker" and pointed at his uniform.  He was super agitated.  I said 'alright- just wanted to help if you needed help finding something'.  I rolled up my window and drove home.

The USPS worker was african american, and new to the location (and maybe job).

He was scared, and I think fearful that I might shoot him for being black in my neighborhood.  I was just trying to be helpful and had no idea he might react like that but as I drove away thinking about how scared he was, that was the conclusion I came to (I of course could be wrong, I have no idea what was going on in his head).

But how screwed up is this country if, when I roll my window down to offer help with directions, someone fears for their life?  How crazy is it that a group of high school kids can act kinda like assholes at an event for Native Americans and they become the subject of the national conversation.  (think about stupid stuff you did in high school and thank God cell phones didn't exist in the 70s 80s or 90s).  How, as a country to do we walk back from this crazy place, rebuild trust and faith and ignore stupid, silly behavior?

I don't know, but I am open to suggestions.

snow day

Yesterday the school called a snow day.  And being pretty new to the valley I didn't see it coming but everyone else did.  For example, much of my daughter's hockey team had scheduled sleepovers for Thursday night. 

So how do you know it's gonna be a snow day:

1.  you can add a day onto a already long weekend (adding Friday to Monday off---way to make everyone happy with a 4 day weekend)
2.  With a pre scheduled long weekend you can assume most of the sports teams will be traveling--this way they miss less school
3.  Finals week is coming up starting Tuesday--give teachers and kids more time to prepare (that might be more sleep, more skiing, more studying or some combo of the above)
4.  Give teachers a day to ski---they live here to recreate too
5.  10-20 inches in the previous 24 hours gives air cover even though the roads were no different than most other days

So while my kids slept in I did a little work and hit the hill around 11:30.  I got in 8 Bell-Dumps laps by 3:10 pm and was pretty proud of knocking off about 30k of vert in a bunch of bumps.  Hot and sweaty walking into the house my son asked me what I skied and I told him.  He informed me that was not very impressive and went back to bed.  Anyone want an adolescent boy--I got one I would be happy to loan you?

The boy and I went to see Mavis Staples last night and she rocked.  If anyone is unsure how to engage with a crowd they should watch a Staples show---textbook and she is 79.

This weekend is also Gay ski week.  My 8 visits to the gondola got me multiple glimpse of the parade down Aspen.  Looked like Halloween had arrived in January--with a lot of fun had by topless folks in pretty cold snowy weather. 

Next up---X games.  They officially kick off Thursday I believe just in time for the high school kids to wrap up finals.  Was it planned like that?  Maybe Lil Wayne Friday night after the last final is a good way to blow off steam----or a good way to blow up.  (And I am managing a slip crew one of the days---I will report how that turned out)

I also have a good high school friend and his son coming to stay with us for a couple of days.  Think I will be crushing some blues on Snowmass--they might have to change the name of Alpine Springs or the Big Burn to Green Acres.  It should be a good time, and if you wonder what motivated my snow day skiing their impending arrival plus good snow might provide a clue.

The snow is great--make some time to go skiing.  I haven't seen a gravestone engraved with ' I skiing too much' and believe me if that gravestone was gonna be anywhere it would be in Aspen.

things that sux about Aspen

Happy New Year to you---as opposed to giving you 10 goals or aspirations or some maudlin new year crap like that I decided to let you know some things that suck about paradise

1.  windows and bears---it would be great to keep the windows open at night in the spring, summer and fall to cool the house down and enjoy the fresh air, but the bears won't allow that---

2.  X-mas, New Years and other high holiday times----I get used to no lift lifes and no clueless posers, and people who know how to handle a two way stop sign at a 4 way intersection, and then the holiday crowds arrive and it just makes me want to hide in my house till they go

3.  Guests---who ask for advice and then won't listen (leave a day early so you don't get nailed by a 3 day snow storm, wear you ski boots to the hill, no you can't get a dinner reservation for 10 with 6 hours notice for 7pm anywhere during x-mas-new years break)

4.  cynical SkiCo (Aspen Way--- love, community, unity, respect) and enjoy the $170 daily lift ticket and $12.25 for a slice of pepperoni pizza and $6 bucks for a large fountain drink.  Let me add that up for you. That is $18.25 for a slice of pizza sitting under a warming lamp, and a cup of soda that you grab at a large cafeteria (Merry Go Round @ Aspen Highlands) and then fight for a seat in a large crowded room while thinking about the Aspen Way.  Seems SkiCo respects short term $$$s but that pricing sure doesn't feel like love.  And Ski Co talks about wanting to diversify their customer base but at that price point you are pretty much looking at locals who bring their own and 0.1%ers.

5.  No Salt on the streets---I wonder what it will take for Aspen and CO to revisit that decision--maybe my kids bus sliding down the street into an intersection and getting T-boned by a large dump truck resulting in multiple deaths.

6.  Unwillingness to try new things (see above).  The City Manager for Aspen was just forced out of his job after 23 years.  Who holds a top job like that for 23 years?  Likewise SkiCo could surely use some fresh blood.  This town has next to zero operational excellence and that is largely a result of the same ski bums holding the same job for decades.  Aspen has not figured out how to draw new talent to the valley, and we are paying for it.

7.  Unwillingness to be honest.  The county is looking to expand the airport and terminal and the long time locals are resisting because---well they don't like change, don't like spending money, don't want people visiting etc.  They have come up with weird arguments like we don't want 737s to land here because........uh they have too many seats.  We don't want a bigger airport because it will allow more private jets (have you looked at the airport, I think every private jet in the world was parked out there last week).  While the airlines have indicated that they are shifting to larger jets that won't be able to land at ASE, we can tell UAL and AA what kind of jets they need to maintain.  Yea right.  Let's be honest, all of Aspen's economy revolves around tourism.  And while all of that doesn't come via the airport the majority does.  A bigger, nicer terminal (especially when flights start getting delayed which is normal given a bit of weather) and the ability to fly bigger jets from further locations with more seats will only help the local economy.  If UAL and AA stop flying here see how long it takes for your home price to drop from $1,500 a foot to $350 a foot and then tell me how happy you are with the current airport.

8.  Exploitative pricing---gas in Denver $1.88 a gallon.  Gas in Aspen $3.15 a gallon.

9.  Health insurance on the Western slope.  Basically see above, but if you want to know why national health insurance is coming, just try to buy health insurance on the Western slope of CO.  Its both expensive and doesn't provide the coverage you want.

10.  No uptick at gyms after new years.  WTF.  I thought that was an all American thing, but out here everyone works out so dang much you couldn't tell Jan 2nd from Dec 26th.